Tips for Coping with Holiday Stress and Depression

Question:

What are some tips for coping with holiday stress and depression?

Answer:

The holidays are supposed to be a cheerful time. Yet for many, it’s actually exhausting and stressful. Holiday stress and depression are more common than you might think. A survey by the American Psychological Association, for example, found that 38% of people reported their stress levels went up over the holidays. 

Holiday stress and depression are feelings of increased stress and depression reported during the holidays.

Celebrations and holiday cheer can sometimes feel out of reach for some people, even when surrounded by festive activities and social expectations.

While on its face this may be surprising – why would someone feel bad during such a joyful time of the year? – in fact, it’s quite common. For many people, the holidays can be a period of painful reflection, loneliness, anxiety, and depression.

Many people find themselves feeling like they are on the outside looking in during the holidays, as if everyone else is having a great time.

There are a couple of reasons why this might occur:

Holiday depression can happen to anyone, no matter their circumstances or background. It is normal to feel sad or anxious during the holidays, especially for those grieving. Life circumstances and changes—such as loss, transitions, or dissatisfaction—can influence one’s mental health during the holiday season.

Perhaps one of the biggest causes of holiday depression, particularly for those of us who live in the Northern Hemisphere, is seasonal depression.

Symptoms of seasonal affective disorder usually appear during late autumn and can include sadness, loss of interest in activities, low energy, sleeping changes, and trouble concentrating. Many people may experience feeling overwhelmed as a result of these symptoms, especially when juggling multiple responsibilities during the busy holiday season.

Seasonal depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is a type of depression brought on by a lack of sunlight in the winter months. This is because sunlight is linked to the production of serotonin – the neurotransmitter associated with well-being – as well as Vitamin D, which has also been associated with mood. A lack of sunlight can also worsen preexisting depressive symptoms.

Perhaps one reason you are dealing with stress this holiday season is over the perceived need to buy Christmas gifts. Buying gifts can be expensive and time-consuming. Gift-giving can also be stressful if you fear that your gift will be seen as inadequate. Shopping and holiday travel both add to the financial and emotional stress of the season, as expenses and obligations quickly accumulate.

If you are dealing with stress over what to buy this holiday season, just know you’re not alone. Polls show more than six out of every ten Americans feel stressed when it comes to selecting the right gift for their loved ones. Financial concerns are a main source of holiday stress for nearly half of people surveyed. Budgeting can help avoid financial strain during the holiday season.

If you are feeling stressed about giving gifts for the holidays, you can take certain steps to reduce your stress.

First, make a budget for gifts and stick to it. Prioritize those people that are closest to you and give them the most expensive gifts. For everyone else, consider simpler, more affordable gifts.

Second, you and your family can agree to not give gifts this year and instead come together for more meaningful activities. This could include playing board games or watching movies indoors, or just enjoying quality time together.

You can also consider starting a new tradition such as White Elephant. White Elephant is a holiday gift-swapping game where each participant brings one present that can be appropriate for just about anyone. Making gift-giving into a fun activity, like group exchanges or playful games, can help reduce stress and bring more joy to the experience. This helps take some of the pressure off those who worry that they won’t choose the ideal gift.

To manage holiday responsibilities effectively, make a list of tasks and check it twice to stay organized and reduce stress.

By the opposite token, maybe the reason you are feeling holiday stress and depression isn’t due to what gifts to get your family members, but over having to spend time with them at all. A holiday family gathering can be difficult during recovery due to a wide range of reasons. Complex family dynamics and the need to navigate difficult topics during social gatherings can add to the stress, making these events even more challenging. Grief and loss can also make the holiday season a painful reminder of what has been lost.

Perhaps this is due to differing values, clashing communication styles, or negative feelings based on past experiences. Whatever the reason is, there are a variety of things you can do to minimize stress from family over the coming holidays. Creating new traditions can help reduce the stress associated with old ones that may bring pain. Setting boundaries is also important to protect your well-being during family gatherings.

If family stress is something you fear during the holidays, there are a couple of things you can do about it. If family gatherings cause you anxiety, it’s important to set boundaries. You don’t need to engage in activities or conversations you don’t want to. You also don’t need to stay in a situation that is making you feel uncomfortable—it’s okay to leave early from gatherings if you need to protect your well-being.

In addition, limit how much time you spend with family members who bring you down. Prioritize quality time with family and friends who make you happy and lift your spirits. If traditional family relationships are strained, spending time with your chosen family—those supportive people you opt to include in your life—can bring joy and emotional support during the holidays.

You can also practice mindfulness. Sometimes, we have to spend time with people who annoy us. We can’t always avoid it, nor express our displeasure at their annoying behavior. By practicing mindfulness, you can be more aware of when negative emotions are increasing, and you can take the appropriate actions to reduce those feelings. Focus on what you can control, and try to let go of what is beyond your control during the holiday season.

Finally, consider improving your communication skills. It’s possible that the communication issues with your family members aren’t exclusively the fault of that member. While you can’t force someone else to do something, you can always take steps to improve yourself. This could include things like practicing active listening, being mindful of your body language, assuming positive intent in what the other person says, and being more assertive and self-confident.

Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline invitations that cause you stress. Make sure to schedule downtime or ‘me time’ to recharge. If you start to feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help from friends, family, or professionals.

Another source of holiday stress and depression may occur because you are alone on Christmas. This can be especially hard if you have lost a loved one, or if you can’t be with close friends or family this time of year for whatever reason.

During these times, it’s important to remember the value of connecting with your community. Seeking out community events, support groups, or peer support networks can help foster a sense of belonging and collective resilience.

If you find yourself alone, consider creating your own traditions. Focus on what brings you comfort and find joy in small moments or meaningful activities, such as enjoying a favorite meal, watching a beloved movie, or taking a peaceful walk.

Volunteering or helping others during the holidays can also boost your spirit, connect you with others, and reduce feelings of loneliness. Giving back to your community not only improves your mood but also helps you experience and share joy with those around you.

If you’re feeling lonely on Christmas, find ways to distract yourself. You could take advantage of the time off and watch movies or play video games, or perhaps throw yourself into a hobby like writing or drawing.

You could also try and connect with friends or family members even if they are not physically present. Technology has radically shrunk the world, with the ability to talk to anyone, even face-to-face, as apps like FaceTime are a call away.

If one of your loved ones is no longer with you, consider visiting their grave to pay respects, or celebrate their memory in some way. Over time, these traditions can become comforting and may help to reduce your holiday blues.

Finally, you can create your own Christmas traditions. You don’t need to do something big; it could be something small like taking a walk around your neighborhood to admire the holiday lights or watching your favorite movie. Even simple acts, like sending a kind message or volunteering, can help you find or spread holiday cheer during the season.

Remember to be present in the moments that matter most during the holiday season.

Financial Strain and Holiday Spending

If you consistently find getting through the holidays to be a challenge, it may be time to seek professional help. The holiday season often brings increased stress, especially from social gatherings that can feel overwhelming or emotionally challenging. South Coast Behavioral Health offers a variety of inpatient and outpatient treatment programs to treat anxiety and depression. Our nationally-accredited treatment approach combines research-based therapies like CBT with medication management services for rapid stress or depression relief.

If you or a loved one are coping with depression or anxiety this holiday season, know that there is help: contact us today at 866-881-1184. Our highly credentialed staff is available day and night, 24/7 to take your call. Free education programs are also available to empower and support individuals affected by mental illness.

Limiting social media use can reduce feelings of inadequacy and stress during the holidays. Effective strategies for managing holiday stress include setting realistic expectations, establishing firm boundaries, and prioritizing self-care through adequate sleep, exercise, and diet. Focusing on the future and planning ahead can help manage your mental health in the coming year.